The physics of breasts (from now on referred to as boobs because I like saying boobs more) seems to be one of the fastest growing areas (get the pun there) in video game programming. If as many people were programing proper physics into game as are working on the physics of how boobs bounce we could do away with the ragdoll effect and have real life physics! We might even have the ability to walk up a set of stairs in a game by actually STEPPING on the stairs! But I digress from my original train of thought.
Watching overly large and not real life proportioned boobs bounce around using advanced physics seems to be geared towards the male population of gamers. If you play (or watch) any of the Dead or Alive series (particularly Extreme Beach Volleyball) you can watch the generally over sized breasts bounce freely in what we are told is something akin to real world physics. Let me tell you thats a pile of bull. No woman in her right mind would jump around with boobs that size in a bikini. It would hurt let me tell ya! Not to mention that they all would have back problems something horrible. As funny fan service though the joke is hysterical. At least, I hope they aren't taking themselves seriously...are they?
What I really want to know is, where is the gratuitous goodness for the ladies? If there can be chicks in bikinis in a fighting game why can't there be shirtless guys with muscles that ripple in real time? Where are my flexing physics?! I want to see hot rippling muscles damn it! Or to even take it a step further butt flexing physics. Who doesn't want to look at a sexy flexing man bottom?
I guess I am only half kidding here. I think game companies could do a lot to improve other aspects of how people work other then just how much boobs bounce when playing volleyball. What about accurate body damage in a fighting game? Really you could do body damage in any game where damage is taken like in GTA4. If your character gets punched in the eye, then they get a black eye! Not just armor popping off to reveal a character in their underpants like Soul Caliber 4. I mean really, what a great idea that just went the really lame route. Instead of the armor becoming dented or tarnished, it just breaks off! Real body damage like black eyes and bruises when a character gets hurt in game. You could also apply these new ideas to things like how clothes move when worn or how hair flows down a womans back. It just seems to me like you could take all that work designing boobs and turn it into a whole lot more.
I mean bouncing boobs are fun and all, but I think we can do better. We are gamers after all.
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